be proactive
There are two ways to live life. You can either be reactive, or proactive.
Reactive people complain about the things that are out of their control. Their environment and outside forces affect their mood. They don’t take action or ownership of the things that they can control.
Proactive people realize that their decisions determine their life, not their conditions. They don’t complain about things that they can’t control. They take action to improve the things that they can control. “We may not have complete control of a certain situation, but we can control how we respond to a situation.”
Focus on what you can control. Take responsibility. As you become more proactive within your circle of influence, it becomes bigger. You bring more power into your life.
from "7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey
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fear awareness
What is your own experience of fear?
Mild watchfulness, caution, apprehensiveness, unease to worries, anxiety, obsessing, panic and terror
- What role does fear play in your life?
Fear is negative and often unfounded.
- It causes us to react to situations versus responding to them.
- It creates immediate conflict, as we tend to project whatever is frightening us onto other people
- We accuse, we retreat, we cave in, we stay stuck, and more than anything, we lose power.
- Fear can be comfortable; often it’s easier to stay with our old fears rather than take a chance and risk confronting new ones.
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self talk
“No beating yourself up. That’s not allowed. Be patient with yourself. It took you years to form the bad habits of thought that you no longer want. It will take a little time to form new and better ones. But I promise you this: Even a slight move in this direction will bring you some peace. The more effort you apply to it, the faster you’ll find your bliss, but you’ll experience rewards immediately.” – Holly Mosier
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allowing joy
When we surrender our own joy, to make those in pain feel less alone, or to make ourselves feel less guilty or somehow more committed, we deplete ourselves of what it takes to feel fully alive and fueled by purpose.
The Goal is to get to the place where we can think. "I am aware of what is happening, the part I play, and how I can make it better. And that doesn’t mean that I have to deny the joy in my life."
from "Braving the Wilderness" by Brene Brown
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relieve stress
"Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life."
Andrew J. Bernstein
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responsibility
Responsibility is a misunderstood word. Most people use it to mean blame.
- “Who’s responsible for this?” means “Who’s to blame for this? Whom can I punish?”
- We are experts at finding blame. We blame others for not making us happy, for letting us down, for not fulfilling our dreams.
Responsible simply means, “The ability to respond.”
- Our response dictates what life hands us next.
- “My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” - Oprah Winfrey
We also have the ability to choose what our inner response to that situation is.
- Our negative inner reaction to that situation is all ours
- “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
- Marcus Aurelius
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