Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, joy, trust, intimacy, courage; everything that brings meaning into our lives.
- When we let people take our vulnerability or fill us with their hate, we turn our entire lives over to them.
Armor sounds good when we are hurting, but causes so much more pain in the end
- Many of us armor up early as a way to protect ourselves as children.
- Once we grow into adults, we start to realize that the armor is preventing us from growing into our gifts and our self.
Most of the time we approach life with an armored front because
- We are not comfortable with emotions and we equate vulnerability with weakness
- Our experiences with trauma have taught us that vulnerability is actually dangerous
- Violence or oppression have made our soft front a liability and we struggle to find a place emotionally and physically safe enough to be vulnerable.
Get comfortable with vulnerability. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is our most accurate measure of courage.
When the barrier is our belief about vulnerability, the question becomes:
- Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can’t control the outcome?
- Are we willing to create courageous space so we can fully be seen?
Re-source: Restrengthen
A soft and open front is not being weak; it is being brave
- Strong Back, Soft Front
All too often, our so called strength comes from fear, not love. Instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front shielding a weak spine.
- In other words, we walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence.
If we strengthen our backs (metaphorically speaking), and develop a spine that’s flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that is soft and open.
Just like we can strengthen our courage muscle for a stronger back, we can exercise the vulnerability muscle that allows us to soften and stay open rather than attack and defend
- Examine our need to be perfect and to please others at the expense of our own life,
- How can we give and accept care with strong back / soft front compassion?
- “Moving past fear into a place of genuine tenderness comes when we can be truly transparent, seeing the world clearly, and letting the world see into us.” – Roche Joan Halifax
craving and resource from “Braving the Wilderness” – The Quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone – by Brene Brown
