ICRAVE Other’s Perception of Me

Why you should care about other’s perceptions of you

  • It is the only coherent view you can have of yourself
  • Perceptions of us are based mainly on what we do and not on what we think
    • It is easy to miss this because we spend a great deal thinking about ourselves, much more than others do
  • People are interested in our actions rather than our beliefs
    • “Your beliefs don’t make you a better person; your behavior does.

Pay attention to how you behave and in particular, how others make of your behavior

  • You will have a very good sense of who you are

If you want to avoid being self-centered, just be others centered instead

It is silly to avoid other’s opinions of us

Rather than offering freedom or stardom, not seeing what others think of you will just detach you from the social world.

Re-source: Reflections

“We view ourselves according to how we imagine other people view us.  Our character is reflected in others. Their ability to see that reflection is what enables us to be aware of ourselves as individuals in society.” – Charles Cooley

  • When our confidence is higher than our competence, the reflection we see is too favorable
  • When our confidence is lower than our competence, the reflection we see is too unflattering

If we have notably low or high self-esteem, we have an inaccurate depiction of how others see us.

  • This will affect our social interactions

Having a bad conscience is a sign that you care about others

  • Having a bad reputation is a sign that you don’t.

craving and resource from Confidence – overcoming low self-esteem, insecurity, and self-doubt (by: Thomas Chamorro Premuzic)