It is less risky to assume the worse and be wrong than it is to assume the best and be wrong. This is called negativity bias, and it is evolutionary hardwired into our brains.
- Once something bad happens we do not see it as just one negative event.
- When we dwell on that event we add meaning where there is none, and we subsequently strengthen those bad experience pathways.
- This makes us over represent the importance of the event.
Negativity can protect us from danger but it also creates enemies where there are none.
- Don’t give bad thoughts an express lane through your brain.
The brain attaches wide generalized importance to specific events. This is known as implicit memory and can lead to all sorts of bias and bias confirmation.
- When a loved one offends us, there is a strong likelihood that we will generalize the specific negative feeling arising from that specific event to every other aspect of our feelings.
- Negative interactions are five times as powerful as positive interactions in a relationship.
- To cope with this, make sure to think five times as many good thoughts about your partner as negative thoughts.
- And remember that spats and quarrels will present disproportionately larger in your memory, so cut your partner some slack and you will make yourself happier.
Re-source: Reshape
Dwelling on the positive is a great way to fight the power of negative thoughts.
- In addition to the power of focus and self-examination, good old fashion education can help lubricate the everyday grind.
When that first negative event happens, surround yourself with positive thoughts to keep that same dart from hitting you over and over.
- Try not to see threats where there are none.
- Optimistic panning is vital to happiness.
Studying how the brain influences emotion allows you to differentiate when something calls for tears, and when it is being overblown as a primitive defense mechanism.
- Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be refined and learned, just like calculus or martial arts or learning to play the guitar.
When we distill the ingredients in the recipe to cook up happiness, we find that the essential ingredient is our pattern of thoughts.
- Our subjective view of an event matters more than the event itself.
craving and resource from “The Two Most Important Days” – How to find Your Purpose and Live a Happier and Healthier Life – by Sanjiv Chopra and Gina Vild
