“How you feel and act, both over the course of your life and with specific situations and relationships, is determined by three factors:
- The challenges you face
- The vulnerabilities these challenges grind on
- The strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities
Example: the challenge of a critical boss or teacher would be intensified by a person’s vulnerability to anxiety, but he or she could cope by calling on inner strengths like self-soothing and feeling respected by others.
We all have vulnerabilities, and life is full of challenges and hassles.
- You need strengths to deal with challenges and
vulnerabilities
- As either of these grow, so must your strengths to match them
- If you want to feel less stressed, anxious, frustrated, irritable, depressed, disappointed, lonely, guilty, hurt, or inadequate; having more inner strengths will help you.
Inner strengths are helpful for a happy productive and loving life.
Example: Positive Emotions
- These reduce reactivity and stress.
- They help heal psychological wounds
- Improve resilience, well-being, and life satisfaction.
- Encourage the pursuit of opportunities
- Create positive cycles
- Promote success
- Strengthen the immune system
- Protect your heart and foster a healthy and longer life
Re-source: Reform
make changes in in order to improve it
On average, about a third of a person’s strengths are innate- built in his or her genetic temperament, talents, mood, or personality.
The other two-thirds are developed over time.
You get them by growing them
- We can develop the happiness and other inner strengths that foster fulfillment, love, effectiveness, wisdom, and inner-peace.
Finding out how to grow these inner strengths inside you could be the most important thing you can ever learn.
Imagine that your mind is like a garden.
- You can simply be with it, looking at its weeds and flowers without judging or changing anything.
- You can pull weeds by decreasing what is negative in your mind.
- Negative meaning what leads to suffering and harm.
- You can grow flowers by increasing the positive in your mind.
craving and resource from “Hardwiring Happiness” by: Rick Hanson
