True belonging does not require that you change who you are. It requires you to be who you are.
- Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong.
- You will always find it because you made that you mission.
True belonging and self-worth are not goods. We don’t negotiate their value with the world.
- The truth about who we are lives in our hearts.
- Our call to courage is to protect our heart against constant evaluation, especially our own.
- No one belongs here more than you.
Differences between fitting in and belonging
- “Belonging is being somewhere you want to be and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere you want to be, but they don’t care one way or the other.”
- “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.”
- “If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”
There are challenges in developing an organizational culture with a true belonging
“There is no question that it is easier to manage a fitting in culture. You set standards and rules. You lead by, “Put up or shut up!” But you miss real opportunities, especially helping your team members find their purpose.
Coach Pete Carrol
- When you push a “fitting in” culture, you miss the opportunity to help people find their personal drive.
- What’s coming from their hearts
Creating a culture celebrates uniqueness
- What serves leaders best is understanding your players best efforts.
- Our job as a leader is to identify their unique gift or contribution.
- A strong leader pulls people toward a deep belief in themselves.
Re-source: Relationships
The way that we engage with social media is like fire. You can use them to keep yourself warm and nourished, or you can burn down the barn. It all depends on your intentions, expectations, and reality checking skills.
- Face to face connection is imperative in our true belonging practice.
- Social media are helpful in cultivating connection, only to the extent that they are used to create real community where there is structure, purpose, and meaning.
Personal interaction
- Proven to bolster our immune system, send positive hormones surging through our bloodstream and brain, and help us live longer.
- This contact doesn’t have to be a long close interaction (though that is nice).
- Making eye contact, shaking someone’s hand or giving someone a high five lowers your cortisone levels and releases dopamine, making you less stressed and providing a little chemical boost.
craving and resource from “Braving the Wilderness” – The Quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone – by Brene Brown
