Feeling Shame when things go wrong
- It is often one of our first reactions when shocking change happens to us
- It doesn’t serve us well because it causes us to want to hide rather than take the positive actions we need.
Forget Blame
- Accept what is and seek the best solution
- It is appropriate to look back only if your motivation is to improve for the future.
- It’s not blame but reflection that promotes better performance
- Take responsibility
- “I’ll try to identify the errors that I had made so that I can take step to help resolve the situation.” Then invite others to do the same.
Regrets
- You can suffer too many regrets making it important to leave the past behind and move on with your life.
- You can also have too few regrets, where neglecting the messages of your own emotions can mean persisting in counter-productive behavior and missing unique opportunities for growth and renewal.
Don’t get stuck in the feeling (Neil Razi)
- Feel the regret and swiftly move on by using it as a springboard to action
- Find more than one reason for why it has happened.
- This can help you find the lesson.
- How can this be worse?
- This helps keep a wider perspective.
- Tell others by either writing or talking.
- Keep your eye in the larger picture.
- We have to have mercy on ourselves for not being fortune tellers.
Re-source: Reconcile
“Meditation is a means of cultivating insight through being mindful of what is arising and passing. The aligning and softening of the heart to be reconciled with this moment just as it is.”
– Phillip Morphew
Meditation is such a crucial tool in adaptability
Witness Self
- Meditation strengthens the witness self; the part of our minds that is aware of our thoughts and feelings.
- The more we strengthen that part, the more we won’t be living on automatic pilot or at the mercy of our conditioned response or our feelings.
- We understand that thoughts are not facts and that we observe our fearful, sad, or angry thoughts come and go rather than be at their mercy.
- With a strong witness self we are no longer at the limb of our unconscious behavior but are behind the wheel of our destiny and are able to adapt and adjust at ease.
Loving-Kindness Meditation (Buddhist tradition)
- Offering of kind wishes to yourself and others
- Operates on the principle on the energy of well-wishing helps bring good results into being
- Form of prayer
Stay open to miracles
“You are always in a universe of choices. Any moment of your life can go in any direction you choose. Learn to choose.”
Luis Alberto Area
craving and resource from “Adaptability” – How to survive change you didn’t ask for – by M.J. Ryan
