How does fear affects us?
- If the fear gets strong enough, then we lose the ability to think rationally,
- It is crucially important to recognize what you are feeling and have coping strategies in place.
- Fear shrinks our world and limits our ability to think creatively about our choices.
- It causes us to isolate ourselves
- We overgeneralize that the sky is falling
What to do?
- Increase your ability to accept the situation, expand options and pick from necessary adjustments.
- Remember your accomplishments.
- Make a list to remind you that you are capable of dealing with this challenge as well.
Human beings take in information and interpret it
- A great deal of that interpretation comes from one or more core ways of explaining what happens to us.
- that we have developed from our early childhood experiences
- Our brains create these explanations and continue to look for them in other situations as a way of keeping us safe.
- Abandonment- “I might end up alone.”
- Deprivation – “My needs won’t get met.”
- Failure – “I’m not good enough.”
- Entitlement – “I’m special so rules don’t apply to me.”
- Perfectionism – “I have to do everything perfectly.”
- What started out as way to protect us from further harm, ends up causing harm because we aren’t necessarily seeing the situation accurately.
We also try to cope in our lives by doing things that are irrelevant to the task
- Results in some momentary relief
- Procrastination is just a cue for you to figure out what you need asap.
These are much easier to see in others. Becoming aware if this in yourself is important because it allows you to step out of the situation and perceive it more objectively.
- Therefore you respond more effectively.
Re-source: Recondition
condition again
Quick tips for handling change you didn’t ask for
- Focus on the solution, not the problem
- “What am I free to choose right now?”
- “Fake it til you make it” – “As we act, so we become”
- Find things to laugh about
- Celebrate success along the way, no matter how small
- Before you say something won’t work, consider how it might work
- Focus on a positive future
- Breath slowly and deeply
- Get out and help someone else
- Exercise
- Encourage yourself along the way (positive self-talk)
- Set aside a specific worry time/period
- Do things you love on a regular basis
- Be grateful and thank those who helped you along the way
- What really matters? (Your values and purpose)
- Focus on the positive qualities you have to face this change
Being a Life-Long Learner gives us greater capacity to cope with whatever comes our way.
Key attitudes of a Learner (Carol Dweck – Stanford psychology professor)
- Belief that you can learn
- Trust that your effort to learn will pay off
- Willingness to persist
- Seeing mistakes and feedback as learning opportunities
- Finding inspiration from the success of others
How are you doing at becoming a life-long learner?
- Which of these are easy? Which are difficult?
The capacity to learn is truly our greatest asset.
- Keep on doing new things
- Read different kinds of books, see different kinds of movies, talk to different kinds of people, expose yourself to new experiences, and learn new skills.
craving and resource from “Adaptability” – How to survive change you didn’t ask for – by M.J. Ryan
